Here we go.

Ah, yes, the awkward first post. You know how it is (unless you're good with words, then I suppose you might not). What the hell does one say to get a blog up and running? Considering this is my first time, your guess is as good as mine.

Perhaps I should start off with an introduction. Chances are, if you're reading this, you know all of this information. But in the .001% chance that you don't, well, today is your lucky day. My name is Lauren and I'm from Upstate New York (no, not an hour outside of "the city"). I'll be 24 (did I just say that out loud? Yikes) in August and I am currently STILL working towards my undergraduate degree. I know, I know, slow and steady wins the race. But seriously, enough already. To be fair, I took two years off in the middle of my collegiate journey because I had made a wrong turn (turns out, big name private schools are NOT my thing). I ended up spending those two years working with children, which has led me to a degree in Childhood Special Education. My dream is to teach first or second (but first is my favorite!) grade in a fantastic district. I have a few problems with any grade higher than third: first, they're taller than me (I stand at a whopping 4 foot 11 inches tall, so you can see how this might be an issue). Second, they're smarter than me. Third, they start to get sassy. Now, as the blog title might suggest, it's obvious that I am one of the sassiest individuals alive, and I can serve sass like nobody's business. But, I really don't want to spend a lifetime taking sass from fourth graders. No, I think I'll stick to precious little first graders who still adore you and think you're the best thing since sliced bread.

One of the best compliments I receive from people is that I have a great sense of humor. Let's face it: I'm really just an ass. 98% of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is dripping with sarcasm. I mean, yeah, I AM pretty funny sometimes, but I don't take myself seriously. I like to think of myself as a mix between Blair Waldorf (bitchy and conniving), Becky Bloomwood (major shopaholic, which I now refer to as "Cristal taste on a Keystone budget"), and Chelsea Handler (do I really have to give a description? The woman is ridiculous). So, to sum myself up, I would say I am a bitchy, sarcastic shopaholic. I think most people I know would probably agree.

I'm not sure what purpose this blog will serve. It will probably be like most things that I start and then forget about. C'est la vie!